Monday, May 26, 2008

Confessions of a former Chain Smoker.

So I have been a non-smoker for like 3 1/2 weeks. I just spent time with 2 friends that I don't see very often last night, both these people were less then pleased with my smoking. I guess my sparkling personality is what kept them coming back for more for so long. Anyways I guess I just wanted to comment on something that I didn't think that I would feel when I quit smoking. I knew I would crave it and eventually get grossed out from the smell, probably get a few headaches from the withdrawls, but there is one thing I didn't anticipate. I am missing a huge part of my personality. I don't know if it is a good part. Or maybe it is that I have a very underdeveloped portion of my personality. One of my friends commented on how different I acted as a non-smoker. I think the cigarette was a safety blanket. Smoking used to be something that broke the ice to talk to someone new, got me out of a situation by letting me "step outside" to smoke, it even gave me something to do with my hands when I didn't know where to put them. But now I am sort of forced to just be me, no fillers, no excuses or escapes. I feel more clean, clear, and responsive. It is awesome.

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