Sunday, August 10, 2008

I took the best nap today. I rarely am able to nap, but I fell asleep wonderfully. The fan was lightly blowing, the covers up to my chin, just perfect. Then I woke up to this, meowing in my face. Kitty girl was hungry!
I also woke up with a numb hand because I rolled over on it. That is surely a sign of a good afternoons rest!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The sons of Jesus Christ

The crackheads and the drunks in my neighborhood are getting so bold. First, the other night my sister and I got home kind of late. We were sitting in my car talking for a minute after we pulled up and some crazy guy, walking down the center of the street walked right up to my window. I rolled it down a smidge so he could ask me for some change, and I could politely tell him I had none (which was the truth, I rarely have cash or change on me), but he asked me for 4 dollars and continued questioning me about quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies. Once he realized that he wouldn't get any money from us, he decided to tell us why someone would be inclined to give some to him. Namely, he is the son of Jesus Christ, a black leprechaun, and that he could speak in tongues. He proceeded to bless us in tongues. This went on for 15 minutes before he finally headed down the road.

Just now I stepped out onto the front porch of my building to smoke a cigarette, and a man that was about a half a block down the street did a u-turn when he heard my door open and asked me if I could read. When I said yes, he asked what kinds of things I like to read. Before I could answer fully he asked where I work. Once I admitted that I work at a college he asked me if I liked poetry. I don't know if he was trying to hit on me or what, but he had a brown bag bottle in one hand, a smoke in the other, and looked like he hadn't showered in days. What the F! Are you serious?

Monday, August 4, 2008

Red Honda Road Rage

I am a pretty responsible driver. At least now I am. I toodle along on my way to work, usually staying at the speed limit. I don't cut people off, in fact, I am kind of a sissy when it comes to changing lanes on the interstate. I see people who are way more inconsiderate then me. But apparently I am the worst driver to some guy in Omaha today.

I changed lanes on the interstate this morning well before my exit ( I like to be prepared). It was right near the on ramp. There is this guy, this asshole, is getting on the interstate as I am changing into the lane that he will need to move into shortly. Not right that second. But apparently it was VERY bad for me to change lanes at the time because he FREAKED the "f" out on me, and that is the only reason I could tell why. The man literally had his head out the window while he screamed at me. His face contorted, teeth baring, face bright red, and his head completely out the window looking directly at me. Clearly it was easier for him to merge onto the interstate with his eyes off the road and the upper half of his body hanging out the window like fucking golden retriever! I would have screamed that at him if I hadn't been in noon traffic going 60 mph. But I did give him a hearty middle finger and a "we appreciate your business" smile. Yeah Take that!

So anyways, I continued on my way, a little sorry that I flipped someone the bird, but not too bad since he was way meaner. But he totally wasn't done with me. He whipped around to the other side of my car after I passed him, sped up past me, the whole time glaring into my car. As soon as he a mildly safe opportunity to get in front of me he did. Then he started to slow down so I would get even closer to him then I already was. When he he got in front of me I could see him staring at me in his rear view mirror. Then all of a sudden he hit his breaks, hard. But thanks to my cat-like reflexes I was able to slow down without hitting him, like he clearly intended. He proceeded to continue at like 35 or 40 mph. Clearly he was trying to teach me a lesson. But I am not taking shit from some pissed off bank teller in a beat up Honda, no sir. I changed lanes to rise above this nonsense, but he quickly darts over to cut me off again. Oh no he didn't! The whole time I can see him glaring at me. Dude needs to get a M***F***ing life! My God! He hung onto this longer then I did my last break up. Not to mention, as far as I can tell, he was pissed for me being careless in the first place, and to prove a point he is putting my life, his life, and countless other drivers lives in danger. The interstate is not the place to try to get someone to rear end you.

So, once I realize that he is not letting this go, I pull out my cell phone dial 911 and put it up to my ear. He got a good glimpse of that and sped off. He wasn't trying to be in my way anymore! Dumb ass should have probably thought about how easy it would be for me to get his make, model and plate number while he was pulling all this shit. I hope they scare the piss out of him if and when they find him. Hah!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Big Bean.

I'd like to introduce someone to you . . . .Frankie.

Frankie is one of my 3 cats. He is the largest of all 3 and also requires the most attention. I just got home from work and I have some time to kill so I pulled out the computer, content to read some junk, and he saddled up next to me on the bed. While petting him in the only acceptable zone (his head) I starting thinking about him and how this blog is sort of named after him.
When I first took in this little hellcat (he was small for a minute) I was talking to my dad on a daily basis for reasons I might get into later. He was the absolute worst kitten EVER! Everything annoying a cat can do, Frankie has done. He also has some kind of borderline personality disorder that makes him very nasty sometimes. He also a big tub of love. I take a lot of bad from this cat because his good is SO GOOD!
Anyway, for the first year of his life I was assaulted on an almost daily basis by vicious attacks, usually around my ankle area. He chewed almost every cord in my apartment, along with the antenna of my cell phone. He is a climber, but very clumsy and fat, so he knocks things off of every surface he meets. I could go on forever about all the things this cat has done. So during that time I was talking to my hearing challenged father everyday, I would vent about how Frankie was driving me CRAZY! Every time my dad would ask how the cat was and I would tell him the new behavior, my dad would respond, "Frankie did What?!?" Partly because some of the stuff was so shocking and frustrating, and partly because my dad is old and his hearing sucks - especially over the phone. I also have elicited that same kind of reaction by my own behavior in the past. Sometimes I feel like that cat is a lot like me . . .frustrating, stubborn, temperamental, impulsive, and a little mean. But also, adventurous, playful, attached, beautiful, and really enjoys a good meal! :)
Frankie is known by many names around this house . . . Frankenstein, Beans, Mean Bean, Beaner, Big Pappa, Asshole. But my favorite, Mr. Franklin "Poopie Pants" Dombrowski, surely the adored grandson of my hard of hearing father.