Monday, August 4, 2008

Red Honda Road Rage

I am a pretty responsible driver. At least now I am. I toodle along on my way to work, usually staying at the speed limit. I don't cut people off, in fact, I am kind of a sissy when it comes to changing lanes on the interstate. I see people who are way more inconsiderate then me. But apparently I am the worst driver to some guy in Omaha today.

I changed lanes on the interstate this morning well before my exit ( I like to be prepared). It was right near the on ramp. There is this guy, this asshole, is getting on the interstate as I am changing into the lane that he will need to move into shortly. Not right that second. But apparently it was VERY bad for me to change lanes at the time because he FREAKED the "f" out on me, and that is the only reason I could tell why. The man literally had his head out the window while he screamed at me. His face contorted, teeth baring, face bright red, and his head completely out the window looking directly at me. Clearly it was easier for him to merge onto the interstate with his eyes off the road and the upper half of his body hanging out the window like fucking golden retriever! I would have screamed that at him if I hadn't been in noon traffic going 60 mph. But I did give him a hearty middle finger and a "we appreciate your business" smile. Yeah Take that!

So anyways, I continued on my way, a little sorry that I flipped someone the bird, but not too bad since he was way meaner. But he totally wasn't done with me. He whipped around to the other side of my car after I passed him, sped up past me, the whole time glaring into my car. As soon as he a mildly safe opportunity to get in front of me he did. Then he started to slow down so I would get even closer to him then I already was. When he he got in front of me I could see him staring at me in his rear view mirror. Then all of a sudden he hit his breaks, hard. But thanks to my cat-like reflexes I was able to slow down without hitting him, like he clearly intended. He proceeded to continue at like 35 or 40 mph. Clearly he was trying to teach me a lesson. But I am not taking shit from some pissed off bank teller in a beat up Honda, no sir. I changed lanes to rise above this nonsense, but he quickly darts over to cut me off again. Oh no he didn't! The whole time I can see him glaring at me. Dude needs to get a M***F***ing life! My God! He hung onto this longer then I did my last break up. Not to mention, as far as I can tell, he was pissed for me being careless in the first place, and to prove a point he is putting my life, his life, and countless other drivers lives in danger. The interstate is not the place to try to get someone to rear end you.

So, once I realize that he is not letting this go, I pull out my cell phone dial 911 and put it up to my ear. He got a good glimpse of that and sped off. He wasn't trying to be in my way anymore! Dumb ass should have probably thought about how easy it would be for me to get his make, model and plate number while he was pulling all this shit. I hope they scare the piss out of him if and when they find him. Hah!

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